He didn't mind being known as gay, being seen as gay, and acting gay. Houlihan to fuck off and rot for what he told me at 11 years old."Īfter coming out as a gay man in high school, Raymond was comfortable with his sexuality. I didn't need to carry the burden of shame. I wish I could tell myself the realities of HIV, and that I was low-risk, and that I needed to be proud of who I was. I wish I could have told myself that it's going to be OK, and that being gay is nothing to be ashamed of. "I was too scared to get tested, and the doctors were too ignorant to help," Justin says. There were several times when he developed strep throat, but was convinced that it was the early signs of AIDS. Reflecting on those years now, Justin says the anxiety and stress he felt was overwhelming, and it began to make him sick. Years later, when Justin had his first same-sex experiences during his college days at Texas A&M University, he was convinced that he had contracted HIV. Justin said the message was simple: "If you are gay, you get AIDS and die, so don't be gay." When Justin was in the fifth grade, his physical education teacher gave an educational talk about HIV and AIDS.
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